American godmother refuses to help Vietnamese godchild apply to American universities, but helps her younger sister with worse grades: '[She used] her husband's connection to ask for scholarship'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
May 24, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Life isn't always fair, but you don't always want to know that, especially when you're young. You also don't want to let that notion get in the way of fighting injustice wherever you see it. You don't have to accept your conditions as normal, you can (and should) push for better. Especially when injustice exists within your own family. Sometimes family members play favorites, even when it ends up harming one person. Or maybe they don't even realize that they're playing favorites and it just comes out subconsciously. 

Or maybe they do something that they regret and then have the opportunity to rectify later. You never know what drives someone to do what they do, and you probably never will. This is one of the deeply frustrating things about life as a human being. Try as you might, you can never truly live in someone else's shoes. You can only guess.

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  • 01

    AITA being angry at my godmother and my half sister for not helping me get into American college but helping my younger sister?

    So context for my family here. We are a Vietnamese family. My dad married an American woman (who i call my godmother) and had 2 children (my half brother and half sister) then after some personal stuff they divorced and he married my mother and had me and my younger sister. I had great relationships with my godmother and my older half sibblings, we called constantly and they visited us every year until recently.
    via u/No_Price_6827
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10508582656
    via Phạm Trần Hoàn Thịnh

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • But when one young adult was confronted with the favoritism of her family members, she got rightfully upset. When she was denied a potentially life-altering opportunity, she swallowed her pride and tried to keep trucking. But when her sister got some unearned help, she couldn't keep quiet. Read on for the story to see what happened.
     

  • 03
    A few years ago when I was at my final year of highschool, I contacted my godmother proposing I want to study in an American University since it has been my dream for a long time. Since she's a professor of an University she might be able to help me out, but then she only shows me how to enroll and the
    via u/No_Price_6827
  • 04
    standard stuff to apply for college which made me realize things are a lot harder than i thought. I do pretty well academically and was top 2 of my highschool but far from being able to apply for a 90% scholarship by myself which is the only way I can afford since my family cannot afford the
    via u/No_Price_6827
  • 05
    tuition fee and the student loan. A little bit disappointed but I was just not good enough for it so I gave up and study in Vietnam, fair. We remained contact and I was fine since I know American Uni is very tough financially.
    via u/No_Price_6827
  • 06
    Until recently, my younger sister also reached final year in highschool and I received news that my godmother fully supported her by doing: Using her husband's (who's also a professor) connection to ask for scholarship, write letters and she was bargaining for months on the scholarship and now my younger
    via u/No_Price_6827
  • 07
    sister's scholarship reached nearly 95%. And the cherry on top is, she performed HORRIBLY academically, other than English most of her grades in other subjects barely enough for her to even graduate. But because the GPA system in America is different than here, average grade in Vietnam when translate
    via u/No_Price_6827
  • 08
    to the American system looks a lot better. Now, I have no problems with academic performance if that's the person's capability, but she did not even TRY, she spent most of her times playing video games and now somehow earns it while I busted my a to be in top 2 in my highschool and somehow all I received from my godmother was basic instructions that I can search on the internet.
    via u/No_Price_6827
  • 09
    Ever since my sister received news about her acceptance in the uni, she barely study for the graduation exam anymore (in order to graduating highschool you just need to not get an F, the bar is very low). If she was lazy before, she just completely drop everything now. I was very angry
    via u/No_Price_6827
  • 10
    so I asked my older half sister about this, well apparently my older sister wrote the letters and the application from for her, my younger sister didnt even wrote it herself. Things got heated between us, she called my entitled so I stopped talking, Its been a few months, they texted me telling me they miss me and
    via u/No_Price_6827
  • 11
    want to stop this cold war between us. My parents also telling me I was being immature for acting out at them and want me to talk to them.
    via u/No_Price_6827
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10508582912
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.https://unsplash.com/photos/two-young-woman-designer-in-casual-wear-working-on-new-project-together-with-computer-laptop-at-creative-office-w8bpyIDj6tw

  • 13

    Commenters weighed in with their opinions and judgements.

    Briella Berries • 8h ago . I'd probably stop talking to them too if I found out they ghostwrote someone's entire future and left me to fend for myself. Especially when I put in the work. I don't care if it's "immature," it's valid. That was a big
    via u/BriellaBerries
  • 14
    moment in your life, and it felt like the people you trusted most didn't believe in you enough to go the extra mile. It's okay to be upset.
    via u/BriellaBerries
  • 15
    PsychologyMisera... 8h ago NTA. wow, thats super hurtful. did she at least apologize and give a reason why she left you hanging but did go far and beyond for your younger sister? you have every right to be angry for the unfair treatment at such an important point in your life.
    via u/PsychologyMisera
  • 16
    ElysariaFlurry 9h ago Nta, u got every right to be mad tbh. they let u drown and then gave your sister a life raft she didn't even ask for, that's foul.
    via u/ElysariaFlurry
  • 17
    chaosredmore • 8h ago You're not being immature. You're responding to a real, emotional wound that's about fairness, effort, and feeling valued. What hurts most here isn't just that your sister got help, it's that the support you needed and earned through your hard work was withheld.
    via u/chaosredmore
  • 18
    ArchLith 8h ago • NTA they can choose who they spend their time and effort on and so can you. Since the little sister and her future are so much more important that they "deserve" the same help you were "entitled" for asking of them, they made their choice. I would stay NC with your godmother and half-sister but don't hold it against your younger sister.
    via u/ArchLith
  • 19
    Gold-Delay6362 · 9h ago NTA. Your feelings are valid. Having said that, a lot can happen in a few years. It's hard to say what happened that made your godmother and sister change their minds about your younger sister. Could it be CO ID, perhaps?
    via u/Gold-Delay6362
  • 20
    Sea_Estate8909·9h ago INFO: Did you ever ask your sister for help? There isn't enough to go off of here. I'd say you aren't in the wrong for feeling hurt that's natural. I also have half siblings who's parent I felt close to. It hurts when it feels like they don't care for you as much as your sibling.
    via u/Sea_Estate8909
  • 21
    But I'm going to give you a harsh reality. She doesn't love you as much as she does your sister. That's her daughter. It's natural that she feels that way. Trust me, it hurt when I first realized this. Now I'm sure she loves you a lot. I will agree it does S k that she didn't try and pull any strings. But you got a 90% scholarship on your own. Be proud of your accomplishment.
    via u/Sea_Estate8909
  • 22
    No_Price_6827 OP. 8h ago I might phrased that wrong There are 2 sisters mentioned in the post, one is my older half sister who is her daughter, the other is my younger sister who was the one that was recommended to the school by my godmother. And yes I did ask my older sister for help but unsurprisingly she couldn't do much since even she got student debt herself. The thing Im mad at is that my older sister wrote the application letters and stuff for my younger sister and completely on board wit
    via u/No_Price_6827
  • 23
    LaMarvirino • 8h ago . Nta, though I do wonder if perhaps they helped your younger sister so much out of guilt for not having helped you.
    via u/LaMarvirino
  • 24
    hello_reddit1234 • 5h ago NTA your feelings matter. But you need to accept the situation for what it is, not what you wish it was. Clearly your godmother and half sister prefer your younger sister for whatever reason. - This doesn't necessarily reflect badly on you but does reflect well on her.
    via u/hello_reddit1234
  • 25
    From what you describe about her work ethic, she is unlikely to maximise this opportunity. If you are envious of her opportunities or think that she doesn't deserve them, then this doesn't reflect well on you. Not criticising you but letting you know that this
    via u/hello_reddit1234
  • 26
    could be an area of personal growth for you. We should cheer everyone on even if it means that we are being left behind. That is strength of character. You expected that they would treat you the same. That was a fair assessment. But it didn't happen. Life often does this. How you respond shows your character.
    via u/hello_reddit1234
  • 27
    My best advice would be to just focus on you and your life. Continue to work hard and chase opportunities. I would definitely put distance in my relationship with your godmother and half sister. They do not look after your best interests but expect you to maintain the
    via u/hello_reddit1234
  • 28
    relationship don't be a door mat. Live your life and surround yourself with good people who cheer you on and want you to succeed. They should reap what they sowed. Your sister reaped it with this amazing opportunity. They let you down and now there are consequences
    via u/hello_reddit1234
  • 29
    Miiesha 5h ago Nta. They showed you what your value to them is compared to your sister. There is no point keeping people like that in your life who don't support you but expect you to be fine with that.
    via u/Miiesha
  • 30
    Free_Fishing_5116 • 6h ago NTA...BUT it does seem like your godmother and half-sis have a closer relationship with your sister than you - sometimes it happens, sometimes we connect strongly with someone and go above and beyond for them.
    via u/Free_Fishing_5116
  • 31
    Stop fussing about your sister her lack of work - ethics will catch up with her....work on yourself and plan out your life - Vietnam is now becoming a huge economic giant in it's own right, so you will have opportunities galore.
    via u/Free_Fishing_5116

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